Friday, February 17, 2012

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

If you are ever interested in losing weight you will find yourself battling your vices.

My top ten (in no particular order) diet unfriendly demons

1. Candy

Oh how I love candy. Not chocolate. Candy in particular. In all of it's delicious sugary forms.

I ate a whole Costco sized bag of Kirkland Jelly Bellies over the Christmas Vacation. Because, dude, I was on vacation! Too bad I'm paying for it now.....

2. Vodka

Screwdrivers, Caesars, Vanilla Vodka and Coke, Martinis....... I haven't found a single variation of a vodka drink that I don't like!

3. Pasta

This is a secret weakness. Even to myself at times. I hardly ever eat pasta, I rarely serve pasta, but I almost always order it at a restaurant. As a treat. I can't seem to manage the correct portion sizes when it comes to this delicious carbohydrate. And creamy sauces...... don't even get me started. I think my favourite meal in the whole world (if you factor out the guilt for eating it) is Fettuccine Alfredo with Caesar salad and bread. Dear God, I'm salivating just thinking about it.

4. TV

Huh, didn't know that TV was a dietary vice did you! It so is. What am I doing when I should be working out? Or when I should be taking the time to prepare a healthy meal? Yup, watching the boob tube. I'm in extra trouble now that we have Netflix. So many episodes to watch.....

5. Manners

Seriously, you haven't thought of this? My good manners can do some serious harm to my diet.

"Oh, no, I would not like a slice of birthday cake that you lovingly prepared in honour of this person I also adore. I'm on a diet."

Yeah, because that conversation is never awkward.

Or how about:

"Thank you for making me this lovely meal but could you possibly tell me how many calories there are per serving? How about I only have half?"

Again, super fun.

Honestly, for the most part, I hate using a celebration as an excuse to ruin my diet. Do you have any idea how far I have to run to burn off that dessert I didn't even want to eat?

I have yet to figure out how to manage this issue. Sigh.

6. Embarrassment

I absolutely loathe telling people I'm on a diet. Mostly because their reaction is always as follows:

"But why? You're so thin already."

What do I say at this point? Um, wanna see my fat jiggle when I jump?

I would rather just eat junk in front of them to avoid the issue.

This one is my own dumb fault and I will strive to do better.

7. Sleep

I can't say which I prefer, sleep or coffee. My incredibly drive to be reunited with my bed comes with several costs. One of them is interference with my diet.

This is very similar to my love of tv. What am I doing when I should be working on working out? Sometimes napping. Oh, napping, you are my favourite. You make me so happy. I will always (always always always) chose a nap or to sleep-in over exercise. ALWAYS (I really can't emphasize this enough).

Getting up early in the morning to sneak in a run? Ha. Never going to happen.

8. The Pre-Dinner Hunger Attack

Oh dear Lord am I ever a sucker for this issue. It has been far too long since lunch and dinner is not nearly soon enough. I might die. Waste away into nothingness.

So I wait. I know I shouldn't snack. And I wait. As I descend into insane hunger induced foul temper, I continue to wait. Until, finally, in a fit of grumpiness I cave and get a snack. By this time I've surpassed hunger into crazy feeding frenzy mode and eat waaaay too much of whatever it is that is supposed to be tiding me over until dinner.

I know how to solve this problem. No, I really do. I am just too dumb to do it. It's simple. Ready?

Have a snack before I go insane.

Told you, easy peasy.

Except, not. I'm not sure what it is about that time of day that makes me stupid. I hate caving and giving in to my need for a snack. So I wait until it's too late. Every. Single. Day.

I shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of myself.

9. Mayonnaise

What's not to love about mayo? It's friendly on sandwiches, burgers, french fries.... it's akin to cheese and salt, it makes everything better! Too bad it's 100 calories per tablespoon. Wah.

10. Beverages with meals

Who can eat eggs for breakfast without a glass of orange juice? Or a burger without coke? Honestly people, non-water beverages make meals oh-so-much better! (Especially if you add vodka to them!!). It pains me to know that when I add even a small glass of orange juice to my meal I'm upping my caloric intake by 100 calories.

This is one of the first things I put back into my diet when I'm done losing weight.

And that, my friends, is the end of the list. Your turn(s)!

No comments:

Post a Comment