Friday, March 30, 2012

Dear Poutine, I miss you.

Lisa's last post rings true.  Why am I doing this challenge?

It's not all rainbows and butterflies, y'know.  It sounds like it might be from the la la la, I'm running farther! I'm stronger! post(s), but what you are missing is the sad sad evening when Scott needed  to feed me when he got home from work because I was (wait for it).... TOO HUNGRY... (!!) to make myself dinner.  All I could manage was feeding the short and loud people and feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't eat their Kraft Dinner, which I don't even like.  Lame.

Or, there was two night ago when I sat on Scott's lap and cried. I was so tired and so done. I miss all the foods I love.  I miss jelly bellies.  I miss the option to have dessert.  I miss french fries with burgers. I miss mayonnaise on everything. I miss afternoon snacks with my coffee (so much!).  I miss pancakes and waffles and everything delicious about breakfast.  I miss fettuccine Alfredo and poutine and Crispers. I miss before dinner drinks and after dinner drinks and during dinner drinks.  I miss being not on a diet.

So what the hell?!?  Why am I doing this to myself??

Because I'm dumb.  And crazy.  And am finally going to meet my goal.  Because, at the end of the day, I love that I can wear my favourite jeans and not have my belly bulge over the top or my lovies bulge out the back.  I love that my bra doesn't dig in and make my arm pits into chicken cutlets.  I love looking at my stomach with my thanks to Jillian abs. Because feeling good about myself is worth every bad, sad, mad day.  Even if I have to give all my Pull 'N Peel to the children.

1 comment:

  1. Dumb, yes, crazy, yes, feeling good about yourself... right, yeah, okay, worth it in the end.

    I'm glad you feel so good about yourself! You definitely deserve to be vain! (To everyone else, Krista says this about herself, I'm not being brash). Hopefully with your new calorie counting system you will reach your goal early and can have victory drinks leading up to the end date! Here's hopin'!