The Emotional Stages of Success

I'm sure most people have heard of the Kübler-Ross Model, more commonly know as The Five Stages of Grief (my first introduction was as a kid watching The Simpsons). Anyone experiencing a big emotional loss will often go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (in any order and sometimes skipping or re-visiting the stages). But what about when something good happens to you?

Well duh, you'll just be happy and go on with your life. No one needs a psychological theory to figure that out.

Except wait - I do.


After I hit my weight goal, I should have just been happy and moved on with my day with a little extra bounce in my step. As you could probably tell from my posts, I had a little trouble getting there.


Then over the next few days I found myself quickly jumping through some random emotions - until I stopped to think about it and realized they weren't quite so random after all.

Doing this challenge and succeeding was a really big deal for me. I hardly ever push myself, I'm pretty lazy and avoid doing any kind of stuff or things because dude, that sounds like work, and I pretty much tend to avoid competition as much as humanly possible. I feel bad when I lose or can't reach a goal, and I only feel a mild sense of relief when I win or achieve. So most of the time trying doesn't really seem worth the effort.

But this time I tried really hard, had a great environment and support system, didn't give up, and guess what? I SUCCEEDED! Enter stage one.

1 - Denial.
Seeing that long sought after number actually appear on the scale didn't feel real. It felt like a cheat, a random data error, a product of circumstances and not really a result of anything I consciously did. I had many excuses for why reaching my goal wasn't really succeeding - intestinal issues, water weight, etc. This feeling stayed until I weighed myself a couple days later and... the scale went down again! Hmmm, then the next day it was still the same. Maybe I really am that weight after all...

2 - Elation.
Even though I was still in denial, my first workout after hitting my goal was the MOST EXCITED I HAVE EVER BEEN TO WORK OUT. All those hours of exercise finally felt like they were worth it! And even though my measurements weren't quite where I wanted them to be yet, I no longer needed to worry about gaining too much weight in muscle that was going to inhibit hitting the number goal I had set with the scale.

My thought process was pretty much, "Okay, go time! I really, really, really, really, really want to flatten and tone up my abs so it is totally going to be an awesome sit-up and side-bend weight day! Time to do forty pounds for side-bends, even if I end up dropping the weights on the wood floor or my ankle! Why bother with the ten pound weight for sit-ups when there's a fifteen pound one right there? Go sit-ups! Feel the burn! Harder! Work for it! Just ten more... no, fifteen more - no, just keep going 'til I'm about to drop that weight on my face - YES! Weight induced face bruises so would have been worth it for another couple reps... Maybe next set!"

This stage was very short lived. Although my workout enthusiasm is no longer quite so intense, I'm still dedicated to improving with weights and trying some new routines to tone up faster. On to...

3 - Bargaining.
The following is what I experience Every. Single. Day.

Sensible Me: "I should just keep eating like I'm dieting. I need to give my body time to stabilize and make sure I don't bounce my weight right back up again. Being able to lick the yogurt spoon without counting the calories or having five mini eggs or a drink on the weekend is enough of a reward."

Carefree Me: "What, I'm not going to indulge myself at all? Relax for a day or two! Have dessert, eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch! I can probably add 400-500 calories a day and still be fine!"

Sensible Me: "It's a slippery slope. Once I stop eating like I'm dieting it'll be so much harder to go back. I learned to like all this healthy food. Just keep up the good habits!"

Carefree Me: "I am so sick of saying no! I'm damn well taking the delicious food that is offered to me."

Sensible Me: "Working out is not enough to cover fatty foods and dessert every day. Go back to diet food! And I need to use some of those extra calories on more protein shake so I can build the muscle toning I want."

Carefree Me: "I will - but tomorrow."

The debate continues on into...

4 - Resolve.
This challenge was a lot of work. I'm so glad I did it, but I don't want to have to do it again any time soon. That means eating healthy forever, having small portions of dessert and infrequent alcohol forever, and working out forever. This IS my lifestyle now. It is worth it to be healthy and fit for the rest of my life. I WILL NOT go back. Barring truly extreme circumstances (like my thyroid exploding or a piano falling on my spine) I will never allow myself to buy a bigger pant size EVER AGAIN.

Which leads us into...

5 - Acceptance.
I finally realize there are no "buts" or "excepts" and it's not a statistical anomaly. The numbers don't lie. I reached my goal. I did it through dedication and my own hard work It is an achievement to be proud of. And hells yes, to brag about.

When people say "congratulations" and compliment me (I had three people completely independently of each other tell me I should look for a job in modelling in the same week), I can now respond with a smile and a "Thank you!" No more excuses or immediately pointing out my remaining flaws.

So what if I still have one or two things to work on? I'm still in the best shape of my life and feeling better about my body than ever. Truthfully, when I see women on TV in their bikinis, there's maybe one in a hundred who I'd actually switch bodies with. Sure many have higher boobs or flatter tummies, but there's always something I like about myself more and wouldn't be worth losing. I think, "I'm taller than her," "I have a better smile than her," "My arms are better toned," "A great ass doesn't make up for her wonky nose or snaggletooth." Or simply...

"I wouldn't trade for her looks because overall I love my face and body - they're mine and I'm beautiful." Well, that's the definition of acceptance right there, isn't it?

So, on an end note, I'm not totally done with the emotional stages of success yet. I'm still stuck on the bargaining stage with food, even though I'm resolved with exercising and accepting of my success. That's just the way emotions are - malleable, overlapping, and unpredictable. And maybe I'm weird for not simply being able to be happy. But hey, in the end it was still definitely worth it to taste success and share it with this group of friends.

I wish all of you, those with the challenge completed, in progress, or not yet started, the best of luck and the dedication for continuing success.

Dear Poutine, I miss you.

Lisa's last post rings true.  Why am I doing this challenge?

It's not all rainbows and butterflies, y'know.  It sounds like it might be from the la la la, I'm running farther! I'm stronger! post(s), but what you are missing is the sad sad evening when Scott needed  to feed me when he got home from work because I was (wait for it).... TOO HUNGRY... (!!) to make myself dinner.  All I could manage was feeding the short and loud people and feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't eat their Kraft Dinner, which I don't even like.  Lame.

Or, there was two night ago when I sat on Scott's lap and cried. I was so tired and so done. I miss all the foods I love.  I miss jelly bellies.  I miss the option to have dessert.  I miss french fries with burgers. I miss mayonnaise on everything. I miss afternoon snacks with my coffee (so much!).  I miss pancakes and waffles and everything delicious about breakfast.  I miss fettuccine Alfredo and poutine and Crispers. I miss before dinner drinks and after dinner drinks and during dinner drinks.  I miss being not on a diet.

So what the hell?!?  Why am I doing this to myself??

Because I'm dumb.  And crazy.  And am finally going to meet my goal.  Because, at the end of the day, I love that I can wear my favourite jeans and not have my belly bulge over the top or my lovies bulge out the back.  I love that my bra doesn't dig in and make my arm pits into chicken cutlets.  I love looking at my stomach with my thanks to Jillian abs. Because feeling good about myself is worth every bad, sad, mad day.  Even if I have to give all my Pull 'N Peel to the children.

Need More Time

This week has been very busy. I'm not used to it.

Technically, I have %100 free time. Why is it I feel like I never get anything done?

Not enough time for working out, no time for calorie counting properly, no writing time, didn't finish painting project, have to clean whole house before company comes tonight (so gonna do a crappy rush job).

Worried will have diet fail this weekend because of Easter Dinner, company that snacks and drinks hard and won't allow time for working out, and Maple Syrup Festival.

Remind me why I'm doing this challenge again?

Exercise and (Non)Injury

I had planned to sit down today and post about my injury.  What injury, you ask?  Well, it seems to be gone, so apparently, my non-injury. 

Fine.

Instead I will revel in my good fortune.

Usually, I decide that it's time to get back into shape (read: It's March, Christmas has made my pants tight and the weather is cooperating with my love of running) and I go from 0 to 60.  It's the I sit on my ass all winter and then start running 3-4 times a week plan.  Genius, I tell you.

What are the consequences of this crazy? First my right knee goes.  It creaks and it cracks and it aches getting out of bed in the morning.  I start icing it, taking advil and complaining.  Then, the left one goes.  I compensate for the right knee pain with the left when I run which causes them both sadness.  More advil, more icing, more whining. Finally my left hip joins the group.  It pangs, and it twang and it seizes.  There is not enough advil, ice and patient husbands to get me to run once the hip goes out.  Getting out of bed is a serious task.  This is the quitting point.  I give up on my exercise, my diet and reacquaint my butt with my couch.

It takes a number of weeks (usually like 8) to complete this sequence.  By then I have lost the Christmas weight and am perfectly happy to drink away my troubles in the May sunshine.

Something has happened.  Something odd.

Nothing hurts.

I've been running hard-core for more than enough time for my right knee to freak-the-hell-out.  I have been exercising 5-7 times A WEEK.  There should be creaking and cracking and aching.  Nothing.  Nada.  Not a single complaint.

Alright, what about the rest of the cycle?

My left hip did go.  Two weeks ago when I ran 16.5 after I did Level 3 of The 30 Day Shred not my smartest plan.....  I started to take it easy.  No more doubling up.  I listened to my body when it hurt (ie, modifying some of the exercises to take the strain off my hip) and Ta! Da! It got better.

I ran 16.5 km again this afternoon and.... wait for it.... nothing.  I felt great.  I found myself running up hills and only realizing that I should be huffing and puffing once I was at the top.

(Actually, with one exception.  I doubt I will ever make it up this hill  without wishing a car would come over the top and hit me on its way down.

It's on Wilmot between Conservation and Wideman if you ever want to visit!!)

Past long runs have driven me first to the fridge and secondly back to bed for a nap.  No longer! I can run for well over an hour and continue on with my day.

I have puzzled over the change.  Is it Jillian?  Am I building up all my supporting muscles?  Did I start out running slow enough? Maybe it's my running shoes (it's not the shoes... I had them this time last year.).

When push comes to shove? I don't care why this change came about. I'm just pleased that it did. I don't hurt.  My body is stronger and I am happier.

Calorie Counting Complaints

Having declared my intentions to count calories for realsies this week in my weigh-in post, I thought it was about time to complain about this undertaking.

Holy hell is keeping track of everything you eat annoying.

How many calories are in the Swanson Family Salad Dressing? Um.... well.... what are the ingredients? In what quantities?

(Insert picture of me here surrounded by my computer, the iPad, a bottle of extra virgin olive oil, a bottle of balsamic vinegar, the maple syrup, the grainy dijon, with 16 different tabs open in firefox, one of which google-ing the calories in a frickin' clove of garlic. Because, dude, the nutrition site doesn't have fresh garlic in their database)

Good news? I can answer my own question.


For just over a tablespoon of dressing (15.6mL), it will cost me 59.2 calories.

Worse was calculating my portion of the pizza we had for dinner last night.

Pizza Dough (82 g): 312 cal
Cracker Barrell Mozzarella Cheese (1.5 oz): 148 cal
Sauce (30 g Salsa + 30 g Chili Sauce): 53 cal
Baby Spinach (0.5 oz): 3 cal
Caramelized Onions (1 g): 1 cal
Mushrooms (42.5 g): 9 cal
Goat Cheese (0.5 oz): 39 cal

Grand Total: 565 cal

I burned half of those calories running around figuring out the breakdown. Or, at least, it felt like it!

Also, my kitchen scale has moved up in the world. It's lowly home in the cupboard has been eschewed for a brand new countertop locale.

Nothing goes into my mouth without first being weighed, measured or researched. It makes eating more like a chore than I think it should be. I love to eat.... and now it's so much work!

There are, however, some excellent side effects.

1. I have been overestimating most of my food. Smoothies? Not 500 calories. Only 285. Woot.

2. I am much more careful about what I eat. There are no more careless foods slipping past my lips. A chip off the kids' plates? Hells no. I would have to figure out its damn calorie count. So not happening.

3. I am on track calorie-wise. I am aiming to run a 500 calorie deficit every day (1 lb per week weight loss). I am running a deficit on top of my deficit. Hurrah. Take that 130 lb plateau.

All in all, this is going to be one of those endeavours that I'm glad I did but I hated doing. Or, I'm going to screw it all and start buying pre-packaged meals with it all worked out already!!

These are a few of my favourite things

So I have been meaning to post this ever since I started to help share the things that I love and help me to achieve my fitness goals.

1. My fitness Pal (I believe Emily is using this too).

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

It is a very useful tool to help track all of your calories along with how much cardio you are currently doing. One of the reasons why I have been so sucessful is because I am not allowed to eat anything unless I record it first. This is how you are able to really think about the calories you are about to consume and if they are worth it. You can use the website or the handy iphone app.

 

2. Spotify

 

One of my main motivators at the gym. This is one of the best things ever invented. Basically it is a music app that you can create playlists and seach any song you want instantly! It has a huge catalogue of songs for you to pick from but it does have a nominal montly subscription fee. I love it because if I am craving a certian song then I can look it up and instantly hear it. Plus nothing gets me motivated more then a good beat.

 

3. My Iphone!

 

How could I live without you. You allow me to track my calories and play my music. Combined with a great arm band I am ready to go at any time.

 

4. Foam Roller

 

A new piece of equipment recently introduced to me. It has really helped in my recovery post-work out and improved my over all flexibility. Basically you roll out all your muscles and it is very beneficial pre and post workout. It helps by reducing any facscia build up in your muscles preventing those painful trigger points (if you have ever experienced a deep tissue massage). It feels like the nots are just rolling away. They are very inexpensive and are very beneficial. You should try one and incorporate it daily. I have seen a huge increase in my flexibility and post workout muscle soreness.

 

5. Protein Powder, Allmax Isoflex

 

A necessary evil. I have spent many hours tasting many different types of protein and I have found a very good protein isolate. There are many things to look at when you pick out a protein powder because they are not all created equal. A whey protein isolate is great post-workout because it ensures fast delivery to your muscles to replace the energy that was just spent on your workout. Remember muscles are built outside of the gym and for muscles to build they need protein. My favourite brand is Allmax Isoflex because it has the most protein (27g per scoop) with minimal carbs (1g) no fat (0g) and no aspartame (which is hard to find in many low calorie protein products. It also tastes the best out of all the ones I have tried and doesn;t have as high of a sodium content as many of the shakes do. This beautiful mixture all comes in at 110 calories per scoop! It is also is made of a high qualty grade protein which is very important. What I hate about comercially avaliable shakes are that they often have so many carbs in the shake to make it taste good that it is around 300+ calories or it has not enough protein to be worth it. Now in a pinch, I have had the muscle milk light chocolate shake but honestly there is too much sugar not enough protein and too many calories to keep it in my routine.

 

6, My playbook

 

This has been an unending source of joy while at the gym and a great motivator. I have loaded on some of my favourite shows and then I will not allow myself to watch that program outside of the gym. Recently I was watching seasons 1, 2 and 3 of true blood on it and I would be itching all day to go to the gym to find out that was goign to happen next. I found myself so upset to leave the eliptical and would often do an extra hour because the show was getting really good! I have tried reading books before on the eliptical and it was not worth it because it is so hard to workout hard and fast while reading but my playbook and it's incredibly large font has fixed that! Now I am currently reading an amazing page turner and I find myself looking forward to my cardio sessions! It is slowly becoming one of the best parts of my day and one that I really look forward to!

 

7. Anything Lululemon....a great workout outfit

 

Now I will explain here why I think it is important for everyone to own some nice workout clothes. If you are working out in the privacy of your own home then you should wear whatever you like but if you are out in the gym do you really want to be wearing raggy clothes that you would never be caught dead going to the grocery store in? Since I spent about 15+ hours a week at the gym I think that at least 15% of my money should be spent on workout clothes. They make me feel truely great. I love how lululemon (or any nice workout clothes) really accentuate your assests and you just feel like a million bucks wearing them at the gym. This confidence translates into your workout and you jsut feel like a powerful person while working out. It is also great motivation when you see other people checking you out  and you know your hard work is paying off. Plus I know when I run into co-workers I want to look presentable. You don't have to spend much but as long as it makes you feel good when you wear it, I think everyone needs to have that motivational piece of clothing that makes them feel great while working out.

 

8. Water Water everywhere

 

This should really be #1 but I am not really writing them in order of importance but in the order that they come to me. Water is the single most important piece to your workout more than the eating and working out itself. Water has the ability to change your weight down 5lbs or up 5lbs and it really depends on how much you drink. Now I know there are other factors at heart here but if you aren't drinking enough water your body is not metabolizing your food properly and it will hold on to excess water weight. If you have reached a plateau or went up in weight, drink water. Might sound counter intuitive but if your body knows it is getting a constant stream of water it will be less likely to hold onto water for later use. I normally drink around 4L a day and my body will retain massive water the next day if I dont drink enough.  Also remember that for your body to sense that you are thirsty you need to have had a 1-2% drop in body weight. So pee clear and drink up my friends, it will not only help you get faster, stronger, weight less but also it will help you feel more full at a meal.

 

9. Amylu Chicken Sausages and Carmalized Onion Chicken Burgers

 

I eat these chicken burgers for lunch EVERYDAY. They are a wonderful protein source at 150 cal, 7.5g fat, 2g carb and 22g of protein and are organic. They are great because they take 1 minute to heat and contain no nitrates that are found in a lot of processed meats. The chicken sausages are 70 calories for 3 sausages and make a great addition to any breakfast. I buy these in bulk at costco.

 

10. Irish Oats

 

 After 5 years of continually eating oatmeal for breakfast 98% of the time this is still my favourite meal. I now bought the slow cookingtakes 45 minutes to cook these stupid thing oats but it is worth it. I love them so much with a tsp of brownsugar and some rasins that were cooked in the oats and some cinnamon. They really keep me full and are truely delicious. I use to eat oatmeal for dinner before moving to california I loved it that much.

Things Could Be Worse...

I've been feeling sorry for myself all day, diet, exercise, tired, life, blech.

Then I watched this week's episode of The Walking Dead.

I realized, things could be worse. I could have my stomach ripped open by zombies and need my friends to shoot me in the head to put me out of my misery.

Kinda puts it all into perspective.

When life gets in the way.......

I have no good answer for this problem. Sometimes life gets in the way of my diet.

Right now it's illness. The children are falling victim to an Evil Barf Thing. Technically this turn of events shouldn't truly sabotage my dieting tactics. I am unable to get out and run (sick kids = kids home from school) but otherwise my previously scheduled Eating Right and Killing Myself With Jillian should remain intact.

Ha.

It isn't the illness, it's the anxiety. I just cannot handle puke. Know how some people are just too scared to fly? Yeah, that would be me and vomit. We are seriously incompatible.

How do I cope with the stress? Comfort food (bean meal anyone? Mr. Noodle I know, NOT food! candy), alcohol and lots and lots of tv. What? Me? Hiding from my problem? Hells yes.

I am under the impression that I should handle this differently. A little voice in the back of my head yells that I could channel my anxiety into fuel for the fire. Run farther. Exercise harder. Cook insanely complicated healthy meals.

Between the stress of my phobia and the guilt for my coping mechanisms I feel like I'm failing. Failing as a parent. Being close to my boys scares me (OMG, the horror of just the idea of being puked ON. Holy hell.). Failing as a wife. Scott bears the brunt of the work involved in Vomit Triage. Failing as a friend. I have to cancel on everyone all the time. Failing myself. I can't even manage to stick to my friggin' diet.

When I start to throw myself this Super Amazing Pity Party (wanna come? You know you do!) I have to remember that I'm human. It's ok to be flawed. Yes, vomit scared the bujeezus out of me. Yes, that's dumb. So what? So what if I cheat on my diet to get through it? I'm getting through it and that's what counts.

Next week will be better.

A Silver Lining

'Tis an eve just like any,

As I sit on my rump,

Feeling grumpy and hungry,

From my blood-sugar slump.

As I sneak to the pantry,

My olfactory senses detect,

A smell so foul,

It's making me retch.

After careful inspection,

One can only surmise,

That inside the wall,

A mouse keeled over and died.

Hunger aborted,

I flee feeling sick,

And grumble thanks to the universe,

For its new dieting trick.

You Showed Me Yours So I'll Show You Mine

My ten vices are essentially the same as Everyday Superhero's, so instead of posting the same thing twice, I thought I would respond with my ways to combat these vices.

1. Candy

For me chocolate is a stronger temptation, but I do tend to eat a lot of Real Fruit Snacks too. Eating just one little piece is very hard to do. I have a hard time resisting Rocky Road Frozen Yogurt. It's much healthier than ice cream - but sadly still not very diet friendly.

The best strategy I have is don't keep it in the house! If you do, bury it deep in the back of the freezer, or high up on a shelf where you can't reach. Many times I would have eaten chocolate or candy if it was handy, but because I was too lazy to go downstairs or wait for it to thaw, I resisted!


2. Vodka

I actually don't have that much trouble avoiding drinking on a diet. Passing up dessert is much harder. I only really miss drinking in social situations or if there is something really tasty in the fridge.

When I feel pressured to have a drink at a dinner or party, I make myself something diet friendly and tasty to drink instead, like Cranberry Fun (sparkling water, a wedge of lime juice, and a splash of cranberry juice), or have a Fresca.

The lack of alcohol doesn't change much. Group think makes me act drunk around drunk people even when I'm sober anyway. 

3. Pasta

Mmm, restaurant macaroni and cheese, fettuccine Alfredo, and white cheddar PC mac & cheese! I don't think it's possible to have a diet friendly creamy sauce, but see my diet friendly pasta post in the recipes section to see what I eat when I crave pasta.






4. TV

I associate watching TV with eating and snacking. We eat every dinner in front of the TV, and I eat breakfast and lunch while reading. This means that any time I am watching TV or reading, I want to snack!

To deal, I distract myself. Doing my nails while watching TV is a good trick. Having a glass of lime bubbly water beside me helps to keep putting flavour in my mouth with no calories. When actually hungry, I try to have diet friendly snacks that take a longer time to eat, such as light popcorn, small apple slices, or carrots.

Any time you are watching TV, you could also be working out and watching TV instead. I have yet to be able to eat, work out, and watch TV at the same time ;)

5. Manners

This time of year I don't socialize a lot, so I don't run into having to refuse someone's hard work they put into dinner or dessert very often. Letting the host know ahead of time that I am on a diet helps. They usually try to make something diet friendly for me.

Eating half the meal and turning down dessert and drinks is the hardest the first time. Once I've established that get-togethers are not an excuse to cheat on the diet, it becomes easier and easier to say no. If it is a meeting at a bar or restaurant, I look up calories in their meals before I go (most chain restaurants post on their website). Sometimes I will simply turn down going out for drinks at bar altogether.

But honestly, sometimes it is a very special occasion (or expensive, tasty restaurant) and I cheat anyway. I try to make up for it by choosing either dessert or alcohol, not both, and making sure I worked out hard that day and had very diet friendly other meals.

6. Embarrassment

I also greatly dislike this confrontation.

When I have to have it and people say, "You don't need to diet," I respond with, "No, I don't need to go on a diet. I am a perfectly healthy weight. I want to go on a diet because...
a) my pants are getting tight and don't want to go up a size
b) I would be happier with my body if I reached my goal weight (which is still a healthy BMI). I would be more confident and feel better about myself instead of constantly wishing I had lost that last five pounds. I will finally feel good in a bikini!
c) I want to be at the bottom of my healthy weight range so that I can indulge in drinks and snacks at parties and not have to worry about gaining a pound."

If this doesn't work, and people say my ideal body image is unreasonable, I respond with, "Yes, a century ago I wouldn't think I needed to be thinner because society's image of beauty was different. I am a product of this society and I feel I need to be thinner to be more beautiful. But my goals are to eat healthy and be fit, so what's the harm?" When speaking to most women, I say, "You don't need to wear make-up to be more beautiful, but you do anyway, because of society's expectations. I wouldn't say to you, 'Why did you wear make-up to my house? You should take it off.' This is no different."

There is also the semi-harmless half-lie. Instead of saying, "No, I'm dieting," say, "No, I'm eating healthy right now and exercising to get fit." Say you are cutting out fat, dessert, and booze to be healthy and learn that you don't need these treats every day. (Ex. "I am doing a challenge, 100 days of healthy eating.") People will be much more receptive.

7. Sleep

Sleep actually helps me... If I sleep in, I don't eat breakfast, one less meal!

If I am hungry after dinner, this is the time that it is hardest not to snack. Going to bed hungry is hard. At the end of the day I have no resolve left and I am most likely to eat something unhealthy. If I am the second one to bed, I can sneak food without being accountable. Solution? When I get hungry at night I should go to bed! I can't tell I'm hungry when I'm sleeping!



8. The Pre-Dinner Hunger Attack

I solve this in a weird way. This is when I work out.

This is my hungriest time of day, so I have a pre-workout snack. I get really angry because dammit, that wasn't enough food, I can't even tell I ate anything! Gonna die of hunger, I swear!

But once I get my butt on the machine, getting hot and working out makes the hunger go away, plus drinking lots of water fills up my stomach. If I work out when I'm not hungry, I get a cramp and/or go too slow.

After the workout, it is dinner time! I'm STARVING but I get to eat a full meal and not feel guilty 'cause dude, I just worked out!

9. Mayonnaise

I do love mayo, but don't eat anything on a diet that needs it, so this is not a big temptation.


The bigger temptation is kid food. KD, PB&J sandwiches, hot dogs, crescent rolls, cheese, chicken fingers and fries, the list goes on! Sigh, there is nothing I can do but just not eat it and be sad :'(

10. Beverages with meals

I miss orange juice so much. And Five Alive! And pop (although it's too sugary for me now to really enjoy). I really miss hot chocolate and hot apple cider and vanilla lattes. Again, all I can really do is try to have healthy flavourful substitutes, like Cranberry Fun.






Well, those are my issues! How about the rest of you?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

If you are ever interested in losing weight you will find yourself battling your vices.

My top ten (in no particular order) diet unfriendly demons

1. Candy

Oh how I love candy. Not chocolate. Candy in particular. In all of it's delicious sugary forms.


I ate a whole Costco sized bag of Kirkland Jelly Bellies over the Christmas Vacation. Because, dude, I was on vacation! Too bad I'm paying for it now.....

2. Vodka


Screwdrivers, Caesars, Vanilla Vodka and Coke, Martinis....... I haven't found a single variation of a vodka drink that I don't like!

3. Pasta

This is a secret weakness. Even to myself at times. I hardly ever eat pasta, I rarely serve pasta, but I almost always order it at a restaurant. As a treat. I can't seem to manage the correct portion sizes when it comes to this delicious carbohydrate. And creamy sauces...... don't even get me started. I think my favourite meal in the whole world (if you factor out the guilt for eating it) is Fettuccine Alfredo with Caesar salad and bread. Dear God, I'm salivating just thinking about it.

4. TV

Huh, didn't know that TV was a dietary vice did you! It so is. What am I doing when I should be working out? Or when I should be taking the time to prepare a healthy meal? Yup, watching the boob tube. I'm in extra trouble now that we have Netflix. So many episodes to watch.....



5. Manners

Seriously, you haven't thought of this? My good manners can do some serious harm to my diet.

"Oh, no, I would not like a slice of birthday cake that you lovingly prepared in honour of this person I also adore. I'm on a diet."

Yeah, because that conversation is never awkward.

Or how about:

"Thank you for making me this lovely meal but could you possibly tell me how many calories there are per serving? How about I only have half?"

Again, super fun.

Honestly, for the most part, I hate using a celebration as an excuse to ruin my diet. Do you have any idea how far I have to run to burn off that dessert I didn't even want to eat?

I have yet to figure out how to manage this issue. Sigh.

6. Embarrassment

I absolutely loathe telling people I'm on a diet. Mostly because their reaction is always as follows:

"But why? You're so thin already."

What do I say at this point? Um, wanna see my fat jiggle when I jump?

I would rather just eat junk in front of them to avoid the issue.

This one is my own dumb fault and I will strive to do better.

7. Sleep

I can't say which I prefer, sleep or coffee. My incredibly drive to be reunited with my bed comes with several costs. One of them is interference with my diet.

This is very similar to my love of tv. What am I doing when I should be working on working out? Sometimes napping. Oh, napping, you are my favourite. You make me so happy. I will always (always always always) chose a nap or to sleep-in over exercise. ALWAYS (I really can't emphasize this enough).

Getting up early in the morning to sneak in a run? Ha. Never going to happen.

8. The Pre-Dinner Hunger Attack

Oh dear Lord am I ever a sucker for this issue. It has been far too long since lunch and dinner is not nearly soon enough. I might die. Waste away into nothingness.

So I wait. I know I shouldn't snack. And I wait. As I descend into insane hunger induced foul temper, I continue to wait. Until, finally, in a fit of grumpiness I cave and get a snack. By this time I've surpassed hunger into crazy feeding frenzy mode and eat waaaay too much of whatever it is that is supposed to be tiding me over until dinner.

I know how to solve this problem. No, I really do. I am just too dumb to do it. It's simple. Ready?

Have a snack before I go insane.

Told you, easy peasy.

Except, not. I'm not sure what it is about that time of day that makes me stupid. I hate caving and giving in to my need for a snack. So I wait until it's too late. Every. Single. Day.

I shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of myself.

9. Mayonnaise

What's not to love about mayo? It's friendly on sandwiches, burgers, french fries.... it's akin to cheese and salt, it makes everything better! Too bad it's 100 calories per tablespoon. Wah.

10. Beverages with meals

Who can eat eggs for breakfast without a glass of orange juice? Or a burger without coke? Honestly people, non-water beverages make meals oh-so-much better! (Especially if you add vodka to them!!). It pains me to know that when I add even a small glass of orange juice to my meal I'm upping my caloric intake by 100 calories.

This is one of the first things I put back into my diet when I'm done losing weight.


And that, my friends, is the end of the list. Your turn(s)!